when I was a little kid (we’re talking 6 or 7 years old) I was REALLY into The Far Side and Calvin and Hobbes and we owned like every The Far Side collection in print so by 2nd grade I was determined to be a cartoonist but my sense of humor was pretty warped and from time to time my “art” would draw (arguably justified) scrutiny from my elementary teachers but none so much as this piece that I tried to recreate a few months back in my childhood art style for full effect
I don’t remember getting in too much trouble over this one, but I also don’t remember it getting the praise I KNEW it deserved and if you ask me, this is still pretty hilarious coming from the hand of a 7 year old. If these are directly taken from Gary Larson, I don’t know, but I really remember thinking these up myself.
This one was captioned “Katie’s fun day at the pond comes to an abrupt end.”
Who is Katie? I have no idea. Where did I learn the word “abrupt?” Probably Calvin and Hobbes. The original version of this is actually framed in my uncle’s kitchen; he and my dad were my biggest fans.
There was another instance where my teacher asked us to illustrate our favorite part of an earlier field trip, and I drew us having lunch at the McDonald’s playground, and while everything else was in good order, there happened to be a skeleton buried in the ball pit.
“Why is there a skeleton in the ball pit” people would ask.
2nd grade me shrugged, “stayed in there too long.”
Fanfiction on ao3: Free, isn’t affaid TO JUST USE THE WORD ‘COCK’ FFS
“His genitals, his privates, his hot length, his trobing rod, his magic meat stick-”
Me, in tears: Just say cock
published erotica: the parts that aren’t purple prose about vanilla sex are occupied by dithering and made up problems
fanfiction on ao3: the parts that aren’t sharp, clear prose about scorching kinky sex are occupied by tightly plotted suspense and slam-bang action
published erotica: not interested in the 99% of the market that’s heterosexual? that’s fine, we also have tender white middle class lesbians and slutty white middle class gay men!
fanfiction on ao3: one trans partner? both partners trans? genderswaps? how about a loving long-term threesome that does heist capers? we’ve got non-gendered angels, hermaphroditic aliens – some of whom lay eggs, if you’re into that – oh, and have i mentioned the robots –
published erotica: there, i put in a vampire, i’m such a genre rebel
fanfiction on ao3: i sent the avengers to hogwarts with the winchester brothers, i fear nothing on earth or heaven and only one thing in hell which is that my laptop will overheat in the fires of abaddon so i’ll have to write the sequel longhand
